Well ... that's it.
Southern chef Damaris Philips, known for her awkward shimmy and her negative and insecure attitude, was
voted the Next Food Network Star. Damaris will be given her own show - in a weak
Sunday morning time slot - and the country will have another overweight Southern woman cooking and promoting unhealthy food. It almost seems a bit contrived - the victory of Damaris in the aftermath of the Paula Deen meltdown. That said, thank goodness voters had enough taste not to award a FoodNetwork show to a crass and unsophisticated pie maker like Rodney Henry.
All I can offer is a very limp and ho-hum thanks to
The Food Network for the blandest, weakest, most annoying and simultaneously disappointing season of #NextFoodStar ever. Those are ten or so Sunday evenings of my life that I can never get back, and they weren't impressive programming by any stretch. The sad reality is that the cast of amateurs presented as Food Network Star "finalists" were simply underwhelming. As many people have noted on endless FoodNetwork forums, the only finalist who seemed to have comfort in front of the camera and a point of view that could be immediately marketed
was Nikki Dinki. Yet, she was inexplicably eliminated a few weeks ago for not knowing what a
pilaf is.Truly the only interesting part of the show this week was the revelation that Nikki Dinki is six months pregnant. So, congratulations to Nikki.
In reviewing the season on tonight's episode, I was all the more baffled by how all of these people became "finalists." And my doubts about the final three - Damaris, Russell, and Rodney - were constantly reinforced. How did they make it to end with all the miserable performances throughout. It was tough to find any favorable footage of Rodney, other than his "Pie Style, Jack!" schtick. And I've learned a lot about who the Food Network thinks is watching if Rodney is who they believe to be entertaining or watchable or "a star." As I've noted before, America tuned in to this sort of low-class personality before on
The Jersey Shore, but I used to believe that was because people were laughing at Snookie, not cheering for her. Now I'm not so sure. Either way,
Rodney had no business on this show or the network, and Demaris will ultimately "star" in a forgettable show that should remain in the un-watched weekend morning hours. Meanwhile, the network should consider giving Jeff "The Sandwich King" Mauro a little more prime time.
Meanwhile, let's all wait for Nikki Dinki's
show Meat on the Side to hopefully premiere on
The Cooking Channel, or perhaps
The Travel Channel, or even
CNN. And, though there's not much reason to watch The Food Network these days if you don't want to watch endless re-runs on of Guy Fieri's Diners, Drive-ins, & Dives, there is some hope for entertaining commentary and reasonably good cooking next Sunday with the premiere of
Tyler Florence's Great Food Truck Race. Hopefully, Tyler's show will wash away the bad taste in our mouths from the weak dish served up by Bob Tuschman, Susie Fogelstein, Bobby Flay, Giada DeLaurentis, and Alton Brown in this season's Next Food Network Star.