The recent passage - and news coverage - of Utah's "free-range parenting" law got me to thinking again about an idea I've had for a while - the idea of "Gen X parenting." These two terms are related in reflecting or emphasizing the sort of laissez-faire, liberatarian, hands-free approach that many of us who grew up in the 70s and early 80s experienced with our parents. It's not that our parents were particularly aloof or dismissive of parenting - hell, we all got spanked for discipline ... and regularly so. Our parents weren't unaware of what we were doing, and they weren't shy about correcting our behaviors. Yet, they preceded the concept of the helicopter parent that has been refined and practiced so obviously by Baby Boomer parents of the Millennial generation. The parents of Generation X didn't obsess over protecting us and micromanaging our daily lives. During summer breaks and weekends, we were generally sent "outside to play," and it often happened that we left the house in the late morning and didn't return until dinner. We wandered and played and hung out and got in and out of mischief, and while we were never very far from home, we weren't often observed during our play.
We've all seen the memes and posts about the relaxed and casual ways our parents thought about our safety in the 70s and 80s - riding in the back of a pick-up truck, no seatbelts in the back of the station wagon, sitting up front and helping dad or grandpa steer, riding bikes barefoot and without helmets, etc. Heck, we were the first generation of latch-key kids, and we logged quite a bit of time on our own, taking care of ourselves, and also being rather careless more often than not. We joke about it now and remind everyone of how we "survived." We turned out okay (at least we think we did). No one, of course, is arguing that drinking during pregnancy or dismissing concerns about second-hand smoke is a good idea or an admirable part of a Generation X childhood. That said, we don't argue that our upbringing was perfect or the best way to raise kids. We've learned a few things about health and safety that make perfect sense to us - car seats and bike helmets and seatbelts are reasonable concessions and obvious upgrades. Thus, while I've raised my kids to wear bike helmets, I've never had a problem with them riding their bikes over to a friend's house - in fact, I encourage it. "Can I have a ride to the park, Dad? What? It's a beautiful day out. Ride your ass over there."
That "free range" idea, which apparently had to be written in to law in Utah of all places, is the essence of Generation X, the grown-up latch-key kids. I first thought of the idea of "Gen X Parenting" back in 2008 when a writer named Lenore Skenazy made headlines with her column in the New York Sun describing how she allowed her 9-year-old son to take the subway home by himself from Bloomingdale's in New York. Skenazy became the target of much criticism for her allegedly careless, if not downright dangerous, parenting decision. She was decried and turned into a pariah of irresponsibility. All I could think of was my own childhood, prowling around on the bluffs overlooking the Mississippi River with little knowledge of my parents. When I came home, I simply told them I'd been "playing." And, as I've raised my children in Colorado, I recall thinking that if my son wasn't exploring the state park near our neighborhood by the age of ten, I was gonna kick him out of the house in the morning and not let him back in until he had visible signs of mud and maybe few scratches. Meagan Flynns of the Washington Post recently recounted the story of Lenore Skanzy in her coverage of the Utah law. That was the first I saw of the term "free range parenting."
Nah, I thought. That's just Gen X.
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