Friday, November 16, 2012

Farewell to Twinkies - It's About Time

Organized labor, entrenched executives, and bankruptcy laws gave the world a gift today.  There will be no more Twinkies made - though they may be consumed for hundreds of years, considering the stockpiles and infinite shelf life of the most "un-food-like" of all snack products on supermarket shelves.  Simply by the announcement of the closing of Hostess factories, the overall health of Americans has instantly improved.  And we should not lament the bankruptcy and going out of business news for a company such as Hostess.

Certainly, some people have concerns about the 18, 500 workers who are now out of a job.  This is not a good time to be out of work.  But the job was making Twinkies, only a little less bad for all involved than a guy selling cigarettes at the convenience store.  I won't go as far as to say it's the equivalent of thousands of crack dealers being taken off the street - but I'm tempted to.  Perhaps in a culinary and nutritional rendition of creative destruction, the former Hostess workers can return to school or learn a new trade or simply not be responsible for producing a truly disgusting and worthless "food product."

The Twinkie has been the butt of jokes for years, and no one could or should or would truly lament the loss of the golden logs of synthetic pastry "stuff."  From the abomination that was deep fried Twinkies to the urban legend that only Twinkies and cockroaches could survive a nuclear blast, stories of Twinkie legend have been fodder for pop culture criticism.  In fact, author Steve Ettliner offered up the treat in a new way when he explored the "ingredients" of a Twinkie in his work Twinkie Deconstructed.

So, in a perhaps hopeful trend as people shy away from the more audacious junk food and consider more healthy options for snacks, the era of Big Twinkie is over.  May it rest in indigestive peace.  And, if you've got some lying around the house, hold onto them for a while ... or a couple centuries.  For boxes are going for big bucks on Ebay.


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