Monday, January 14, 2013

Glenn Beck Plans Hippy-Dippy Utopia

Glenn Beck is at it again with his strange Utopian dreams of "how America is supposed to be."  Living in his own little fantasy world, he has let his naive fascination with Ayn Rand and his loose grasp on reality convince himself that he could start the country from scratch and make it work.  Thus, we learned today of Glenn Beck's plan for Independence, America.  Announced on his show and reported on by Mike Krumboltz of Yahoo News, "Beck-town USA" will be a self-sustaining community of real Americans, and I can only assume it will be located somewhere between Brigadoon and Shangri-La.  This paradise will allow all the John Galts of America to escape the progressive hell they currently occupy, and it will also free them from the horrors of consumer culture.  Apparently, Glenn Beck has some contempt for successful American corporations like The Gap and Ann Taylor, as he plans to ban them from his Eden, saying "if you want the Gap or Ann Taylor, go someplace else."

Beck-ville is supposed to be self-sustaining - like the hippie communes of the 1960s - for it will also feature a ranch where people will "grow food" and "teach others" how to grow food.  Hmmm.  Sounds like Glenn Beck is going a little Mao Ze Dong on the country.  Perhaps all Beck-ville-ites will smelt their own iron and sew their own cotton into their own clothes as well.  These happy little "nationalists (?)" will be entertained, of course, by shows featuring Glenn Beck running the Beck media center.  I'd imagine that HBO and ESPN and Hollywood films will be unavailable because they are all products of the commie elite in this country.  Sounds like a great little paradise that Beck has plans for.  Where it will be, I'm not sure.  However, I'd bet the states of Mississippi or Alabama would love to be freed from the chains of all the federal aid they currently receive.  Or perhaps Beck could just convince the state of Texas to secede with him.

This isn't the first time that Glenn Beck has revealed a colossal misunderstanding of history and economics.  Last time, he stole from Founding Father Thomas Paine and bastardized the classic tome Common Sense.  Of course, I don't think Glenn Beck really has a plan for his utopia.  However, he is all but too happy to sell a bunch of Republican conservatism to under-educated or ideologically naive people for a nice little profit.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

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